Metaphorically Speaking

My dad has a saying that sounds kinda simple, but is actually a really great life policy if you think about it:
He always says, "It doesn't hurt to submit an application."
Especially during the time when I was looking for a job, or when I was applying for college this made literal sense, though it works metaphorically speaking as well. Now, I think about it in a figurative sense, and to put it even simpler, it relays the old adage that it never hurt to try.
So lately, I have been applying for a couple jobs. It was difficult for me to fill out that first application and submit it. I didn't think there was any chance I would be the chosen applicant, never mind getting an interview. There was even a possibility that the position had already been filled. But then I realized, I don't want to have any regrets, I don't want to miss out on something great just because it was also difficult. So I have been putting myself out there, so to speak. And maybe its true that it doesn't hurt to try, it does get tiring, but the amount of harm done outweighs the possibility for reward. I still don't regret submitting those applications even though I didn't even get a call back after the interview.
I put my best foot forward, and I am proud of that. When you submit a job application you don't leave out the fact that you have a college degree or hide your best skill. You have to flaunt your strengths and downplay your weaknesses so that you always appear to the best advantage. So I put it all out there, and if that makes it so its just a little more difficult to choose between me and the competition, I am perfectly satisfied with that.

posted from Bloggeroid

Interference

wake up late
rise slowly
and step to
solid ground
grey carpets, piles of clothes.
no more--luxury linens or peeled grapes.
you, with your soft gaze
and earnest touch,
only permitted
in Neverland.
Presently, a slim chance,
all a very unlikely probability,
defying every risk assessment--
exists, just barely.
Possibility.
The ultimate hopeful word,
and the seizing of it leads
to a much worse outcome:
Disappointment.
You tell me which it will be.
Truth is: you never left my
unconscious thought.
Sneaking into dreams
and drifting mind days.
I want to say--
so much.
But I swallow the words,
pushing you back to illusion
and clinging to the inevitability
of disappointment.
All I ask is that you let it sink in.
No more interference.

The Resource of Creativity

All great artists draw from the same resource: the human heart, which tells us we are all more alike than we are unalike.
-Maya Angelou
I have certainly noticed for myself that as my heart becomes more involved in the way that I am living, I become more inspired to write. Write and write, and pour everything about my experience onto the page. And if I have no experiences, than I have nothing to write about.
The best teacher is experience. I have certainly had plenty of experiences in the last year. Sometimes people talk about how thankful they are for their struggles, and how they have learned so much, and how the suffering they have experienced is really for the better, and honestly, I kinda get annoyed by those people. With that said, I promise I am not becoming one of those people. But it is true that a lot can be learned through experience. It's the primary reason my grandmother is wiser than me.
So I guess the bottom line is: Don't ever stop living life to the fullest. Because when you do live life with your whole heart, you will be inspired, and you will have a greater potential to connect with others, since our struggles are what connect us.

Onward and Upward

dove flutters in my chest,

shed the deep slumber

and wake to joy

every moment

a renewed chance

for gratitude,

the priorities of my heart

shining through

as steps onward,

upward

are taken, at last.

At last:

peace.

There are no rest stops

on the road of life,

but this I carry with me:

Peace be unto you.

And also with you.

This morning, I woke up happy. It's almost silly that I would be grateful for such a simple thing. For most of my life, I have been pretty happy when I wake up. When I was little, I loved to set my alarm and wake up right at 7:15 so I would have time to get completely ready before school. I have lost some of that excitement to wake up in the mornings, and perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I no longer have anyone to enforce my bedtime. Sunday is quickly becoming my favorite day of the week partly due to the fact that it is the only day I don't have to wake up before 9. Sometimes in life, it is a difficult choice to be happy, and other times it is an easy one. Today, it is easy.

Cause Today I Don't Feel Like Doin Anything

Ummm, so maybe I feel like that everyday...It's a rainy grey day, the water pitter pats on the roof outside my window, and Jack Johnson singing about mango trees and banana pancakes plays in the background. I have had a very successful laid back day, with about 2 hours of shopping at Savers. Best store ever.
4 shirts, 1 sweater, 1 pair of jeans, a watch, and a gift for someone. All for just over 20 bucks.
Seriously? Seriously.
That's the way to shop on a college student budget on Memorial Day. Yay for being Mormon and Filipino, or in other words doubly cheap.
Plus I woke up to about 20 doormats outside our door, love notes, TP, and an invitation to brunch. The prank war begins!
And now for planning out the rest of my chillax day....I think I will build a fort with my best friend Leisie, make some mexican hot cocoa, and watch a movie in our new fort.
Maybe I will do some laundry so I feel somewhat productive.
But sometimes it is perfectly productive to take a break and be unproductive. Does that even make sense?


Playing Pretend


Step into the snow globe
perfect world of warmth and happiness,
float to the top and--
Drink the pink water.
Snuggle up and listen,
rain hitting the window outside.
Forget--
leave behind regret.
Set aside this day
to remember the home inside the soul.
Warmth, content,
no more contention
Let's shed convention!
wear our big shirts
and sing softly as we play.
To grow up is impossible
every day, we just get older,
but our hearts: they stay the same.
Hold my hand,
let's play pretend.

Waiting for Darcy

I am currently snuggled up in my little living room watching my favorite movie, piles of blankets on my lap and the rainy grey day unthreatening from my comfy couch. I love this story. It is perhaps, in my opinion, one of the greatest love stories of all time.
However, it has one fault. Mr. Darcy sets the standard for men far too high. Sure, he has his faults, but the bottom line is that he changes his ways for Elizabeth. In the end, he becomes the man she needs him to be. Until I see this miracle for myself, I have a difficult time believing that real men have this ability to change. The romantic fairytale world that these kinds of stories build give all of us girls too much hope. We end up believing that real world relationships can be like fairytale romances but without the fairytale setting. It doesn't work.
And still, knowing all this, I continue to believe that my Mr. Darcy is somewhere out there, waiting to meet me. One of these days I will come upon this dream man, handsome and conveniently rich. Until then, I will continue to read and reread Pride and Prejudice and nurture my unrealistic romantic notions. I just hope I don't have to deal with too many Wickhams before my Darcy comes along.

Candy Knowledge

Carrying the books
bundled like a small child
I sing softly
the years spread
before me now
like a patient etherized
upon a table
I heard that once
And knew not what it meant
Revelations often appear
at the oddest of times.
These books speak for me now.
Reading, I relive
all that could have been.
Set free the imagination
of that same Free Spirit
I once encountered
long ago.
Silently I scream:
Carpe Diem!