Romper

Broken pieces
lying under my bed
shattered and stolen
piece upon piece.
No longer haunting
my everyday existence,
yet still ever present
waiting in that locked box
for the day of total amnesia.
Neverending reminders--
scars battle hard
and aching.
Now sing
with the Triumph of
a fight hard won.
No more.

Do I?

My tears fall,
soul full
crying
From each beauty--
heartbreaking.
Each day, a gift of freedom
grace returns to unstretched legs.
A new chance to prove
the impossibilities wrong.
Dream again
hope fuller in my heart.
The butterfly that once rested
on my shoulder returns.
Rip the pages from my diary
hidden sadness extinguished.
Only the fire of true love burns now.
Pure and sweet
reach for the fruit,
finally conquering the simple.
Dare to eat a peach.

What about Everything?

I walked along this road, casual and carefree

and then I stopped to think. 

Where am I going?

Where does it lead?

And why have I not been asking these questions enough?

I think about time for fun

I think about time for play

And then I think about being done.

With no resume.

I am scared.

That everything will stop, and I won't be holding anything. 

Or anyone.

In search of some rest

in search of a break

from a life of tests, but something's always at stake.

Every spring, an ache starts in my chest.

It's a feeling that I can't quite explain, 

but I do know it tells me to run.

What about my life so far?

What about everything?

There are no answers, 

only thoughts that lead to new questions.

Living on Sunshine

Floating

time does not stop

Even as I try to

The ache in

my bones for

something new

continues to grow.

Burst the bubble

surrounding my clouded

heart

step through

to golden light

dream world

aquamarine seas

crepes for breakfast

sunshine for lunch

shed obligations

night falls

dive naked

emerge

in morning light

reality snaps

hitting my head

with the force

of a locomotive

bruised and dazed

my aching bones

creak

viscous blood pumps rythmically

I trudge on.

Apartment Playlist

If we are what we eat...is it also true that: We are what we listen to?

I kinda hope not.

Last year, it was all about Lady Gaga and The Veronicas. I am sure my ex-roommate, and still best friend Jodes can attest to that...She was commonly referred to as "Gaga" by the end of the year.

And this year its all about Taylor Swift aka TayTay, T. Swift, or Baby Girl Taylor. Well, for 90% of the time anyway. If I got a quarter for every time I have heard this song in the last couple months, I would be rich enough to buy myself a new laptop. Or at least have enough money to go get a Beto's burrito.

That other 10% is taken up with some real quality music choices.

Let me demonstrate:

There's a reason I didn't post the official music video for that one.

Definitely another quality choice.

And maybe, just maybe, we occasionally listen to something genuinely worthwhile.

Every Day is a New Day.

The ever lovely Meg Fee offered this gem of a quote on her blog, and I believe it deserves some reflection:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves, we must die to one life before we can enter another.

                                                                                                   -Anotole Frances

I am sure most would agree that everyone goes through life changes almost on a daily basis. But what this quote speaks of is the complete surrender of the old in order to usher in the new. Certainly a feeling of loss is inherent within leaving behind what was once familiar, and just as certainly there is the accompanying feeling of jubilance in accepting a new way, a new life. Opposition in all things. Right?

Happiness is a choice.

This is the simple principle I live my life by. Over this last year or so, I have learned how to be happy even when it is difficult to make that choice. Sometimes crap just seems to rain down on your head, and sometimes it is easy to get buried in that crap, but you really can choose to stand up in the air, shake your fist at the world and scream: "I am happy, dang it!"
And while I have discovered this simple principle to be true, again and again, I have also noticed something else. While happiness is still a choice, it is also a process. More than a single choice, it could be more accurate to say that happiness is a series of choices. Decisions define us. Daily, everyday little decisions. Deciding to choose the right has the power to make us infinitely happy if we so choose. On the other hand, deciding to go against what is right has the power to make us sad, unfortunate souls.
Truly, I have learned that each little decision matters, because the whole may be greater than the sum of its parts, but each part still constitutes the whole.